Culture of Self

Culture of Self - Dan Wallace
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Click on a title to read lyrics:

Counting (No Lyrics)
The Heap
Naturally
I Want to Be
Perfect Weather for a Superhero
The Low Road
Heap Variation (No Lyrics)
Ode 88
Razorblade Twin
Insomnia
Bound to Be Free (No Lyrics)
Capsule
Counting Backwards (No Lyrics)

2. The Heap

give it to the heap, give it up to the beast
the things you will see, the things you’ll believe
every time you have the chance
it happens every day, then it goes away

then you think of those yesterdays
knowing that you have done everything
though you know, and it shows
you’re still thinking of the missing link
it’s important that you realize that
for you and me it won’t change, you’ll see

one of us is gonna’ be sorry
punished until he or she has bled
embarrassed in front of the friends who made us
some of us will be given parties
raised up so far we forget the ground
embellished like some kind of clown

sometimes we have to go where everyone is
or at least where everyone’s been
sorry for confusion and sorry for delusion and
sorry about the voice in your head

so give it to the beast, give it up to the heap
the things you will leave, the things you’ll delete
every time you have the chance
it happens every day, then it goes away
then you look back on yesterday
wondering what you might have to say
when they know, and it shows
you’re still thinking of the missing link
it’s important they don’t realize that
there’s a scheme, we’re the same you’ll see

one of us is gonna’ be sorry
punished until he or she has fled
embarrassed in front of the friends who made us
some of us will be given parties
raised up so far we forget the ground
embellished like some little town inhabited by clowns

sometimes we have to go where everyone is
or at least where everyone’s been
sorry for confusion and sorry for delusion and
sorry about the voice in your head

just listen to the beast calling to you from the heap
the things you will think, the things you’ll repeat
given just a fleeting chance
it happens every day, then it goes away

come on, it’s time to go where everyone is
or at least where everyone’s been
sorry for confusion and sorry about delusion and
sorry there’s a voice in your head

when you become the beast, living there beneath the heap
the things you will eat, the people you’ll keep
every time they have the chance
it happens every day, till you sink away

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3. Naturally

naturally there are some questions now
answer them i shall best as i know how
but let’s not get carried away
there’s a time and place for everything
let’s remember what we become
when we try to be the things we know we’re not

if i could i would i promise you
naturally i knock on plastic wood
if it is a matter of time
it is a conflicted and twisted circus mime
if it is a matter of fame
take another number but with a better name

in the meanwhile there are things to do
like making lists of things to never do
if it is a matter of love
sometimes it’s a dragon and sometimes it’s a dove
if it is a matter of wealth
spread it like a secret you can’t keep to yourself

do you wanna’ know what’s behind my self-control?
do you wanna’ see what’s behind the scenery?
it’s not me

in the meanwhile there are things to do
like making lists of hunches and of clues
if it is a matter of fate
maybe it’s just running very very late
if it is a matter of death
don’t ask me ‘cuz i have not tried it yet

do you wanna’ know what’s behind my self-control?
do you wanna’ see what’s behind the mystery?
it’s not me

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4. I Want to Be

i want to be something that you want to keep
hidden where everyone sees but only you can reach
like memories that rock like seas inside you
put up on pedestals of heart and bone
beneath your thrones they’ll find me

fantasies in frantic frenzies
rip me from limb to limb, then put me back again

i want to be what you see when you believe
everything you see in me but no one else can reach
like melodies an ancient grecian left us
then when the spacemen come with fine-tooth combs
in crumbled stone they’ll find me

sitting here the daydream saves me
from the mundanity of the monotony

then when the spacemen come with xiphoid tongues
in crumbled stone they’ll find me

quiet gazing may seem lazy
but lucid daydreams are what make the day a maze

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5. Perfect Weather for a Superhero

wonderful show, such thunderous foes
under-lairs tremble deep below
they cheat all day, then turn, run away
closer, closer, closer to me, me…

is it a fire? is it a second chance? give us a fire
give us a second chance, we will pull you through

none left to save who are not to blame
resurrection’s killing everything
so why pray for life to learn how to fight?
clinging, screaming, waiting for me, me…

is it a fire? is it a second chance? give us a fire
give us a second chance, we will pull you through
give us a fire, give us a second chance, give us a fire
give us a second chance, we will pull you through

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6. The Low Road

i don’t mean to profit off of other people’s pain
i’ve been here for so many years
attempting to forget her name
i don’t mean to benefit from others’ misery
i’ve been here for 10,000 years
attempting to regain my strength

oh, it’s hard to be so cold

we don’t like to ride the high of other people’s pride
we’ve been here for too many years
pretending to have our own lives
we don’t wish to get so rich off honest people’s sins
we’ve been here for 10,000 years
not doing but witnessing

oh, it’s hard to grow old
even though we chose the low road
won’t be long before we don’t belong

is it wrong just to stay here?
just to be here? just to breathe here?
oh, we don’t care if we’re right or if we are wrong
even though we can’t deny it, somehow we will justify it
it’s the way we chose to go through life

we don’t care if we stay here
if we leave here, if we stay here
oh, we don’t care if we win or if we sin
if we win, if we sin, no…
one day we’ll have our own holy place

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8. Ode 88

starlight reaching through the night
zigzag smile kissing me goodnight
scrap heap wings and rusted strings obey
the laws of harmony, summertime’s a young man’s fling

sunlight racing after me
learn to fight foes i’ll never meet
look at him play martian hymns about
a life of innocence, summertime’s a young man’s whim

i’ll give you all we have for just a little piece of you
i’ll keep it clean and warm, i’ll give it back when i am through
a little bitty piece would do, i know you’d do it for me too

smokin’ their lucky reds and dressed up like silhouettes
they look good, only they won’t get to fill the hole inside
the never-ending appetite
tokin’ their tight roulettes and playing with twin brunettes
they’ll look good till the bitter end, they watch the time go by
they don’t get a reason or a why

sometimes when i’m all alone
i think of life back when i was young
’88 was so great, i thought it would not ever end
summertime’s a young man’s whim

i’ll give you all we have for just a little bit of you
i’ll keep it clean and warm, i’ll give it back when i am through
a little bit of you would do, i hope you’d do it for me too

help us to understand and help us to rock the band
yeah help us to give a damn before we are too late
we don’t wanna’ miss another day
turn us into shooting stars then teach us how to play the parts
then take us to a place that’s far away from where we are
tell us who to be and who we are

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9. Razorblade Twin

no, that’s not a lover’s gaze that’s staring
so blankly through the hazy red clouded remains
of a night filled with rage
no, i couldn’t know its name, it wandered
into my optic blame, you know i had to take aim:
it didn’t know its own shame

you think i’m wrong to be sure of a way
to eliminate such pain
but when you’re alone, and i promise you will be
then you’ll be on my side

oh, when did the summer end
and when did this hate begin?
it’s worn me so thin, like a razorblade twin, ah…

no, that’s not a lover’s mane that’s scraggling
between rocks and broken veins
why won’t it just wash away?
it’s been down there for days
no, i couldn’t count the squares, they formed
underneath their broken spells
i wasn’t there when he fell, so don’t blame me for hell

you think i’m wrong to be sure of a way
to eliminate such pain
but when you’re alone, and i promise you will be
then you’ll be on my side

oh, when did the summer end
and when did this hate begin?
it’s worn me so thin, like a razorblade twin, ah…
oh, when did i first give in
to all of these hopeless whims?
oh, when can we start again?
but this time i want to win
it’s worn me so thin, like a razorblade twin, ah…

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10. Insomnia

pop your nightly pill, it’s dark and static-filled
slowly you dawn upon yourself
a light so bright you melt, slowly you flow
back to your head, a river stuck in bed
treading the wake of brainwave mistakes

and now the midnight bird will sing
of the things that no one sees
she’ll stitch a map across your eye
so you could go there every night
where does it begin? where does anything begin?
if you let her in, your brass eye will see again

i don’t want to be, don’t want to ever been
don’t want to try, don’t wanna’ hear
or think of here or there, i just wanna’ drift
to live in mist, to spread out like a myth
finding lost thoughts wherever they are

and then the midnight bird will sing
of the troubles she has seen
i’ll let her implant me with scenes
watch them grow through me like bones
that’s how it begins, sometimes colors turn to plans
oh, what a release when a sound turns into me

and when the midnight bird has sung
of the things no one has done
i’ll let her in, i’ll be her host
i’ll be her shell, i’ll be her ghost
oh, morning is long, more than half of him is scarred
oh, morning will cry if he learns how much i hide

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12. Capsule

i’m just as scared as you are, almost as bold
twice as cold, we’ll melt together
one and one make twenty-million lifetimes
stretched out like a smile year to year
unleery leers become a circle, how’s it feel now?
how’s it feel? there’s no room left to share between us!
how’s it feel now? how’s it feel now?
no room left for air between us! oh, it feels right

there are impulses all around us, laughter and waves
of hazy days, we’ll build a capsule:
glass and plastic, clasped elastic
spastic and fecklessly we’ll go in this dome
till we roll into a pinhole, how’s it feel now?
how’s it feel? there’s no room left for air between us!
how’s it feel now? how’s it feel now?
no room left to spare between us! oh, it feels right

living in a dusty image
with a tree whose limbs are endless
in a meadow like a snow globe
nine dimensions are all we know, oh…

how’s it feel now? how’s it feel now?
no room left for breath between us! how’s it feel now?
how’s it feel? there’s no room left for flesh between us!
oh, it feels right, it is right

living in a dusty image
with a tree whose limbs are endless
in a meadow like a snow globe
nine dimensions are all we know, oh…

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